Old News, New Opinions

Word in the news (admittedly for several years) is that there is a link between depression and inflammation, that depression may even be an allergic reaction to inflammation. 

The link exists in “sickness behavior”- something that occurs both for people with, say, the flu, and for people with depression.  Sickness behavior is that general low-energy, low-motivation, pain-sensitive, hygiene-resisting malaise that renders you immobile when you’re sick.  It's not sickness itself, but the way the body directs its powers away from everyday tasks and focuses everything on fighting off the disease.

What I love about this theory- whether or not it is true- is that it makes depression relatable.  Anyone who has ever been moderately ill has a measure of insight as to what depression feels like.  It legitimizes that this is an illness and is not something that can be brushed off or sucked up or pulled up by one’s bootstraps.  In fact, believing one is in a funk or just being lazy is a part of the mental distortion of depression.

Just for kicks, I’ve made a list of my sickness behavior

When… 

-You don’t have the strength to lift your toothbrush.

-You resign yourself to the fact that it’s going to be a messy bun week.

-The floor is lava.

-Your apartment looks like an episode of Hoarders.

-Potato chips are an acceptable form of sustenance unless you can manage to make yourself a poptart.

-You’ve been wearing the same clothes for the past 36 hours, and plan to continue to wear them for at least the next 12.

-Getting out of bed is a substantial process requiring a forklift, an elaborate pulley system, and blind faith.

-You thank god that your pet can’t speak, lest it tell tales of your epic journey from the bed to the couch and back to the bed.

It’s best to understand that this is only part of what it feels like to suffer from depression.  For one, it’s a pretty light-hearted account but also it doesn’t include the desperately low mood, brutal anxiety, and negative mental onslaught of depression.

This is how I feel now, but I think it's just a side effect of the Chocohol.  That’s good news and bad news.  It’s good that I’m not sick or depressed, but now I’m stuck with this feeling and have no way of knowing when it will go away.

As I’ve said before, I’m just hoping that it’s a matter of getting used to the meds.